Letting Go to Love

(This post was written sometime in July.)

Goodbyes are never easy.

Over the last two weeks, I had the unexpected and wonderful opportunity to be in France with a group of sisters from our Society, and visit some of the places that were significant in the founding years of our Society. The 21 sisters in the group hailed from 10 countries: Indonesia, the Philippines, England, Canada, Belgium, Singapore, the United States, Australia, Ireland and Italy. I had lived with some of these sisters before and was meeting others for the first time.

Despite being of such different ages, languages and cultural backgrounds, we shared food, travel inconveniences, laughter and tears. We had deep conversations and were deeply touched by each other's presence and stories. It was incredible to experience the companionship of people who were living out the same spirituality and vows as we were, but in their own different ways.

All this made it so much more difficult to say goodbye on the last day when we inevitably had to go our separate ways to the trains and planes that would take us back to where we came from. Most of us had no idea when we would see each other again (or if ever!).

And yet, sitting now in the airport with the small heartache of this goodbye, I realise that this letting go is almost a constant presence in our lives as religious sisters... indeed something we have committed ourselves to.

In making the three vows traditionally known as "poverty, chastity and obedience", we let go of what seems to be control over the most foundational aspects of our lives: having our own bank accounts; the possibility of starting a family; and the independence of deciding our own career goals and life directions.

And yet, quite unlike one would expect, this opens the way to a surprising freedom: freedom to really cherish what is important in life; availability to love all who cross our paths; and openness to respond to the unexpected invitations that life sends our way.

Of course, we are all still growing into that radical availability; to the disturbing presence of the divine spirit in our lives. As someone joked during our time in France, we who have given up family and careers to become sisters still often struggle with seemingly simple things like being asked to change bedrooms!

Once, when I was about to move to another country and spoke about what I would miss in the Philippines, one sister said simply, "Yes, we always leave a part of our hearts in the places we have been. That is a gift: to have loved enough to feel the pain of goodbyes. And that love will be with you again where you go next."

Indeed, by some strange logic, it is in the letting go that we open ourselves to be filled again and again with a love that has no limits!

*****

"A Hollowed Space to Be Filled”

By William Breault, SJ

A cup must be empty before it can be filled.

If it is already full, it can’t be filled again except by emptying it out.

In order to fill anything, there must be a hollowed-out space.

Otherwise it can’t receive.

This is especially true of God’s word.

In order to receive it, we must be hollowed out.

We must be capable of receiving it,

Emptied of the false self and its endless demands.

When Christ came, there was no room in the inn.

It was full. The inn is a symbol of the heart.

God’s word, Christ, can take root only in a hollow.