Surprising Grace

(This post is continued from How to Discern a Vocation to Religious Life: Part I ) Of course, we aren’t always in touch with what our deep desires are in the first place. What often preoccupy us are the shrill and incessant voices of what I will call our “surface” desires (for chips and chocolates). One of the things that helped me in my process of discernment, then, was cultivating my awareness of what was going on inside me. (I’ve written about this before in a blog post on getting in touch with the daily “movements” of our hearts .) To continue the story then: once the two-month period I had given myself had passed, besides gathering information about various congregations of religious sisters, I also started a practice known in Catholic circles as “spiritual direction”, in which I talked to someone regularly about my spiritual life, and this person helped me to notice and become more aware of how I was experiencing God’s action in my daily life. In addition, I went to retrea...

A while ago a reader of this blog asked me, “How did you discern that religious life was for you?” As we have talked a little about discerning life choices here on this blog, I thought I might post my response here too and add to that conversation. Do feel free to leave comments or write back about your own thoughts or experiences. ***** Dear Reader, Your question reminds me of a rather interesting conversation my community had earlier this year at the dinner table when one of our sisters said that someone had asked her, “How do you know if you are called to religious life?” The four of us at the table started sharing our own stories of coming to that awareness. We were each from different countries, with age differences spanning 45 years, but surprisingly enough, while the details of each person’s journey varied widely, we noticed some common threads running through each one. The first was that each of us at some point felt a desire for religious life. While some peop...

This poem was penned by Agustina Hartini, an FCJ sister living and teaching in Ende, Flores (Indonesia), and translated by Audrey.   Finally I realise: that life is not like a river Bringing water continually to lower ground, flowing and flowing. It is actually a climb: the higher you climb, The stronger the wind, the colder the air – But at dawn, beauty without compare. As I climb, I search for your banner I measure the length and breadth of your path I guess at the colour of your clothes I count the number of your followers – And I find nothing, other than your footprints. ***** Akhirnya aku tersadar, bahwa hidup tidak seperti sungai yang terus membawa air ke tempat yang rendah, mengalir dan mengalir saja. Ternyata hidup adalah pendakian, semakin tinggi mendaki, semakin terasa angin menerpa, semakin dingin terasa, namun diawal hari ditemukan keindahan tiada tara. Dalam pendakian ini, Aku mencari bendera panjimu Aku mengukur leba...

Over my holidays I read Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials", a gripping fantasy epic spanning more than a few worlds. The protagonist, Lyra, is a little girl of twelve who comes from a world where the souls of people appear as animals who are their faithful companions. She joins creatures as disparate as witches, angels and dwarf-like Gallivespians on flying grasshoppers who gather their forces to oppose the church and its Magisterium -- and -- to kill God. I had heard this series described before as an atheist tract, so I was surprised at how much its themes resonated with me. In the story, the being known as "the Authority" or "God" was the first angel created who, by deception and force, and through the agency of the church, subdued and placed all living beings under his authority. Through the ages, then, “God” and the church have stamped out all freedom, independence, joy, truthfulness and good feelings from the world. If this is really wh...

A while ago a few of us younger religious sisters and brothers were invited to share our “vocation stories” with a group of sisters who were discussing ways of accompanying young people discerning their vocations. The word “vocation” is commonly used in religious circles in its narrow sense, to mean a call to a state of life (i.e. marriage or religious life). But defined in a wider sense, it really describes one’s unique gift to the world. A friend once explained it to me this way: “Vocation is more than a role that you have, but something you are particularly called to do, that drives you. For example, your vocation might be to teach. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a teacher – it means you are drawn to teach in whatever situation you find yourself in – whether as a parent, co-worker or catechist…” How does one discover what their vocation is? It was clear from our discussion that this is a pressing question for young people today. And not just the young! Perhaps it is some...

In this reflection, a familiar rural scene in Indonesia leads our guest writer Wenny Lestari to ponder on periods of fullness and emptiness in life, and the mysterious freedom that lies in between. The biblical figure she refers to, John the Baptist, is a Jewish prophet who fluctuates between confident belief and wavering doubt in Jesus Christ as the One he has been waiting for. The original Indonesian translation follows. How narrow the difference – boundary – distance – between being full and being empty. In the time of fullness, when asked: “Who are you?”, John the Baptist answered, “I am the voice that proclaims in the desert…” In the time of emptiness – doubting – it was John who asked: “Were you the One to come, or have we to wait for another?” I have seen and heard: the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead rise, and to the poor good news is given. All this You have done for me. In fullness or emptiness, You keep answering the q...

Our guest writer this week, Grace, is a Singaporean Roman Catholic. She graduated from the National University of Singapore, Faculty of Law in mid-2018 and recently entered practice. This reflection was written just before entering the working world, looking back on God’s hand revealed through four years of law school. It’s been two months since my last university exam, and it’s now one day before I officially enter the work force. I thought I’d write a reflection on these past four years, and I thought I’d begin with a prayer I wrote just before entering university: To remember what defines me: values, and not the institutions which uphold them. To believe the best in people: and include in those, myself.  To remain open to the joys which God brings my way when I am not looking.  To remain humbly, God’s servant: To remember my purpose, which must always be tethered to love and how best to serve.  To be comfortable in the silence and allow God’s peace to tran...

I follow your footprints on the sidewalk. I sniff around corners for your presence, but I don’t find you. I knock on doors and come away empty – then I go home. There is a piece of paper at my door: “I waited long for you. I was very wet, I borrowed your clothes; I went out disguised as you.” - Agustina Suhartini, fcJ  (translated by Audrey) ************ This poem is written by Agustina Suhartini, an FCJ sister who lives in Ende, Indonesia (see original Indonesian below). The lovely, intriguing images in this poem stayed with me for a long time. It is written in the ancient tradition that sees God and the divine as a lover, sought after. The part I like most is the twist at the end, when the divine figure has been in the seeker's room and borrowed her clothes -- what a familiar and earthy gesture! It reminds me of that incredible truth that the divine is not "out there" and unreachable... We search for it, but even as we do so we realise that wha...