Surprising Grace

I had the chance to watch Disney’s “Mulan” 2020 recently. It is not a genre of movie I am usually a fan of, but somehow - quite surprisingly - it stuck with me and I resolved to write a blog post about it. (Warning: spoilers to follow!)  *****  Becoming Who I Am  But where to begin? There are so many reasons why this movie is thought-provoking (aside from its "behind the scenes" controversies, which are not the subject of this post). At base, perhaps, is that it is a coming-of-age story... a story about someone discovering their own unique gifts and using them... a kind of story that never gets old, as we are all living it to some extent, young or old. I used to think that coming-of-age was something that happens once when you are a teenager or young adult, but at 33 - an age at which I used to think my life path would be settled - I am discovering that the process goes on! Perhaps at certain ages one wrestles with the question of “who I am” in a more pointed and existent...

I spent the last 8 days making a “silent retreat” at a beautiful Jesuit retreat centre just outside of Manila. Such a retreat – Ignatian-style – involves quieting oneself and giving time for a certain amount of prayer and reflection each day with the aim of reconnecting with God, oneself, and nature, usually with the help of a guide to whom you talk each day about your inner process. Going on retreat, it occurred to me this year, is a bit like going up a mountain. In the whirlwind of work, play and activity that fills our days, we sometimes lose track of where we have come from and where we are going – or why we are going anywhere at all! It is only when we are on the mountain, gazing down at the road we have travelled in our daily experience, that we regain a sense of the bigger picture: yes, I have travelled that road, and look how far I have come! Looking down at the paths by which we have come gives a deeper sense of meaning and direction to the daily grind; the flurry of busy...

(This post is continued from How to Discern a Vocation to Religious Life: Part I ) Of course, we aren’t always in touch with what our deep desires are in the first place. What often preoccupy us are the shrill and incessant voices of what I will call our “surface” desires (for chips and chocolates). One of the things that helped me in my process of discernment, then, was cultivating my awareness of what was going on inside me. (I’ve written about this before in a blog post on getting in touch with the daily “movements” of our hearts .) To continue the story then: once the two-month period I had given myself had passed, besides gathering information about various congregations of religious sisters, I also started a practice known in Catholic circles as “spiritual direction”, in which I talked to someone regularly about my spiritual life, and this person helped me to notice and become more aware of how I was experiencing God’s action in my daily life. In addition, I went to retrea...

"Humility" is a much-prized Christian virtue (though perhaps somewhat less practiced!). So I remember being surprised when once I mentioned this in a conversation with a friend who was not a Christian and he was puzzled. "Is humility a good thing?" he asked. "Isn't it better to be proud?" When Afra sent me the reflection posted here on Thursday , then, I was curious and asked her what "humility" meant to her. "It is not thinking less about myself," she said (quoting), "but thinking about myself less. It also means that God's love is enough. My life is for God and others." Another explanation someone else insightfully gave me once was that: "Humility is accepting the truth about yourself". So, understood in this way humility isn't about having low self-esteem, or putting ourselves down, or letting ourselves be walked over like doormats -- which would NOT be a virtue! Rather, it has something to do...

  In the years since law school, I have learnt a lot more about making life choices. The spirituality of Saint Ignatius of Loyola has been a special treasure trove in that regard. Ignatius lived in the 1400-1500’s and founded an order of male Catholic religious commonly called the “Jesuits” (from whence hails Pope Francis). He is particularly known for developing a set of “Spiritual Exercises” that develops one’s relationship with the divine and helps one to make life choices. (Nowadays, the full Exercises are usually made in a silent directed retreat that lasts for a month, but it can also be adapted in different ways.) Within these exercises, he sets out a list of very practical “rules for discernment”. I first became acquainted with these “rules” around the time when I first felt an inexplicable desire to become a nun. Faced with a desire that I couldn’t really comprehend and that wouldn’t go away, I was determined to make a proper discernment on whether this was really th...