Searching

I follow your footprints on the sidewalk.

I sniff around corners for your presence, but I don’t find you.

I knock on doors and come away empty – then I go home.

There is a piece of paper at my door:

“I waited long for you. I was very wet, I borrowed your clothes; I went out disguised as you.”

- Agustina Suhartini, fcJ 

(translated by Audrey)

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This poem is written by Agustina Suhartini, an FCJ sister who lives in Ende, Indonesia (see original Indonesian below). The lovely, intriguing images in this poem stayed with me for a long time. It is written in the ancient tradition that sees God and the divine as a lover, sought after. The part I like most is the twist at the end, when the divine figure has been in the seeker's room and borrowed her clothes -- what a familiar and earthy gesture!

It reminds me of that incredible truth that the divine is not "out there" and unreachable... We search for it, but even as we do so we realise that what we seek for is already within us. That we ourselves, just as we are, are manifestations of the divine, reflections of God! How might it change the way I live, to be aware of the sacredness and beauty within me? That same beauty that is in each blade of grass, each bird on the branch, each person I live with?

Oh, that I could be more willing truly to give all of myself, to let Love shape me into the true radiance of my beauty!

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MENCARI

Kuikuti tapak kakimu di trotoar trotoar

Kuendhus keberadaanmu di ujung ujung belokan, tapi tak kutemukan dirimu.

Kuketok semua pintu persinggahan, tak kutemukan juga, lalu aku pulang.

Secarik kertas kudapati di depan kamar, 

"Aku lama menunggumu, aku basah kuyub, aku pinjam bajumu, aku pergi menyamar jadi dirimu."

- Agustina Suhartini, fcJ