The Importance of the Paschal Mystery of…Ourselves!
The “Paschal Mystery” is one of the central concepts of the Christian faith. The phrase is used to describe what Christians understand as the suffering, death and eventual resurrection to new life of Jesus Christ. In this way, it also describes the movement from suffering and death to resurrection and new life that we experience in our lives and in our world.
In this reflection, our guest writer Leonard Mah S.J. reflects on this movement in his own life.
What has the Paschal Mystery got to do with our daily lives? We too are also called to experience and participate in the Paschal Mystery of Christ in our own personal way in our daily lives! It is said that we need to go through our own personal Paschal Mystery before some true quality change and conversion can take place in us.
How does this happen? Like Jesus, we too are called to experience and share in his sufferings. Most of us may be tempted to only want the Easter experience: sharing only in the good things and the joy of the resurrection; having our prayers answered the way we want them to; enjoying the things which God has blessed us with; being filled with God’s love; experiencing only consolations of the Holy Spirit and so on. We all secretly (especially me myself!) hope NOT to have to carry the cross (or maybe ask for a lighter one) and be able to escape the trials and difficulties of life.
However, without our crosses and sufferings, there would be no need for God’s grace. We cannot truly know the joys, happiness and comfort of God’s consolations if we do not experience and harshness, sorrow and pain of desolation in the first place.
One of the biggest crosses in life which I often struggle with are my weaknesses. While these may seem internal and may not always manifest itself as a sin or a flaw in my moral character, and which are even dismissed (in mostly well-meaning ways though) by others as ‘something normal which everyone goes through’, I find it difficult to truly accept fully myself in my various in-competencies, inadequacies, unworthiness, brokenness, doubts and hurts.
I sometimes wish that I could be more intelligent, more adept at learning languages (especially as a Jesuit), better at cooking, better at sports (and not always having to play as a goal-keeper), be gifted with a more natural talent in music (I cannot play most music by memory and am utterly dependent on music sheets), being less ‘blur-like-sotong’ (i.e. someone who is unaware of things happening around them and thus makes careless mistakes), and having not to struggle with the occasional stutter in my speech, among many things.
There are many times when I compare myself to others around me and see how unworthy and unqualified I am and yet God is choosing me to serve Him as a religious and as a priest-to-be. I even look at my level of ‘success’ in life, whether in the secular world or in the religious world, and start to see my lack of them as a failure and weakness too. This then leads me to subsequently doubt myself and wonder if I am even answering God’s call correctly in the first place.
As I prayed about my lack of success and talents and skills, I realise that God did not call us to be successful first; He first calls us to be faithful. As a Jesuit (a member of a religious order called the Society of Jesus), I am called to be available and generous in my service to others. This does not mean that there will always be ‘successful results’ or what people would deem as one. We are called to make time for others, to accompany others on their journey (God is the one leading the both of us) and to share ourselves when we can. Our God is not the God of grades. Rather, He is the God of grace.
As I prayed and reflected on my desire to obtain results, I realised that was an even more ominous and ulterior desire to actually obtain glory and gratitude for my work done. I have subconsciously and unknowingly developed the illusion of service to be traded for gratitude (a desire to be thanked) and glory (not God’s glory, self-glory but I will often claim the first kind of course). Thus, there lies this inordinate attachment to self-glory and self-honour. St Ignatius of Loyola warns us in the Meditation on the Two Standards that three of the primary temptations of humankind are riches, honour and pride.
Hence, in all reason this is probably why God has allowed me to remain broken. I must accept all my brokenness as a means of experiences so as to prevent myself from desiring honour and glory (pride). My brokenness would also serve as a mean of experiences so that I can in turn, minister and care for the other broken people around me. I would not be tempted to think “Why are they like that?” and play down the brokenness of others or be nonchalant about them. Instead, I will be able to truly understand and have the heartfelt and genuine compassion for others.
In this reflection, our guest writer Leonard Mah S.J. reflects on this movement in his own life.
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What has the Paschal Mystery got to do with our daily lives? We too are also called to experience and participate in the Paschal Mystery of Christ in our own personal way in our daily lives! It is said that we need to go through our own personal Paschal Mystery before some true quality change and conversion can take place in us.
How does this happen? Like Jesus, we too are called to experience and share in his sufferings. Most of us may be tempted to only want the Easter experience: sharing only in the good things and the joy of the resurrection; having our prayers answered the way we want them to; enjoying the things which God has blessed us with; being filled with God’s love; experiencing only consolations of the Holy Spirit and so on. We all secretly (especially me myself!) hope NOT to have to carry the cross (or maybe ask for a lighter one) and be able to escape the trials and difficulties of life.
However, without our crosses and sufferings, there would be no need for God’s grace. We cannot truly know the joys, happiness and comfort of God’s consolations if we do not experience and harshness, sorrow and pain of desolation in the first place.
One of the biggest crosses in life which I often struggle with are my weaknesses. While these may seem internal and may not always manifest itself as a sin or a flaw in my moral character, and which are even dismissed (in mostly well-meaning ways though) by others as ‘something normal which everyone goes through’, I find it difficult to truly accept fully myself in my various in-competencies, inadequacies, unworthiness, brokenness, doubts and hurts.
There are many times when I compare myself to others around me and see how unworthy and unqualified I am and yet God is choosing me to serve Him as a religious and as a priest-to-be. I even look at my level of ‘success’ in life, whether in the secular world or in the religious world, and start to see my lack of them as a failure and weakness too. This then leads me to subsequently doubt myself and wonder if I am even answering God’s call correctly in the first place.
As I prayed about my lack of success and talents and skills, I realise that God did not call us to be successful first; He first calls us to be faithful. As a Jesuit (a member of a religious order called the Society of Jesus), I am called to be available and generous in my service to others. This does not mean that there will always be ‘successful results’ or what people would deem as one. We are called to make time for others, to accompany others on their journey (God is the one leading the both of us) and to share ourselves when we can. Our God is not the God of grades. Rather, He is the God of grace.
As I prayed and reflected on my desire to obtain results, I realised that was an even more ominous and ulterior desire to actually obtain glory and gratitude for my work done. I have subconsciously and unknowingly developed the illusion of service to be traded for gratitude (a desire to be thanked) and glory (not God’s glory, self-glory but I will often claim the first kind of course). Thus, there lies this inordinate attachment to self-glory and self-honour. St Ignatius of Loyola warns us in the Meditation on the Two Standards that three of the primary temptations of humankind are riches, honour and pride.
Hence, in all reason this is probably why God has allowed me to remain broken. I must accept all my brokenness as a means of experiences so as to prevent myself from desiring honour and glory (pride). My brokenness would also serve as a mean of experiences so that I can in turn, minister and care for the other broken people around me. I would not be tempted to think “Why are they like that?” and play down the brokenness of others or be nonchalant about them. Instead, I will be able to truly understand and have the heartfelt and genuine compassion for others.
In Japan, there is a Japanese art known as Kintsukuroi which involves mending broken pottery using gold. One would be then be able to clearly see the ‘flaw’ or original crack in the repaired object as a result of the very striking an visible gold lining. However, this ‘flaw’ is seen as a unique piece of the object’s history, rather than something to be disguised, which in turn adds to its beauty. This is very similar to our own brokenness which we experience in our lives too. They form part of who we are and only if we get to be ‘repaired’ and healed by being broken first would we then be more receptive to being filled with God’s grace and to live as His children of light.
Therefore God has allowed our brokenness as a way for us to identify and develop our own Paschal Mystery in our lives. Only if we are broken first, can we then be united in Christ to give and share ourselves to others. Only by undergoing hurt can be then have a chance to forgive others. Only if we die to ourselves can we then live for Christ and others. Only if we have crosses to bear, can we then obtain needed the grace to carry them (if not there is no need of grace). The Paschal Mystery would then no longer be to us just simply be a historical 2,000 year old event which took place over a few days somewhere in the Middle East. Instead, it will be a mystery which we all can claim to share a part of and participate in and relate to in our daily lives.
Let us therefore ask God for the grace in order to be able to accept and bear our crosses in our lives; to see our brokenness as an opportunity to be filled with His grace.
Food for thought:
What are the hurts and brokenness which we have experienced in our lives that have enabled us to grow stronger in our spiritual life?
Why are we not able to accept some of our trials and crosses in our lives? Is it due to our own selfish inclinations, inordinate attachments or desire for pride, honour and self-glory?
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