Building Community II: A Space to be Vulnerable
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Community Day 2018: A pictorial representation
of our vision / direction statement for 2018, which says: “Celebrate hope, peace and justice through
companionship.”
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In the community where I live now, there are 9 of us from 4 different countries. I have been very grateful for my experiences in this community and for the people in it who are to me examples of generosity and loving service – and witnesses also to the importance of fun and humour in daily life.
My younger brother came to stay with us for a week back in December when I was about to make my first vows. On the last day he said, “I thought this week of living in a convent with sisters was going to be very difficult – but it turned out to be so much fun!”
His statement reminded me of my own surprise the first time I visited an FCJ community. I suppose what I had in mind was the image of serious, holy nuns in habits praying in choir… but the group of smart, capable, funny, joyful motorbike-riding women that I met amazed me and shattered that image for good. (Well, those "holy" nuns still do exist elsewhere perhaps – but not here.)
At the beginning of this year we had a “community day” in which we reflected on our experiences together as a community, and decided on a vision and plans for the next year. As we reflected on our experiences in the past year, it emerged quite clearly from our sharing that this particular community was gifted with doing two things well: communal discernment and celebration.
“Communal discernment” is a phrase often used in the Ignatian spiritual tradition. It involves conscious, prayerful attention to the signs of the times and the workings of God’s spirit in our experiences, and making decisions together in a process of dialogue, sharing and reflective listening.
That we can do this when it is required I think comes from a constant commitment to journey together at a deeper level than just living together, and practices that enable that. One practice I am grateful for is that we gather together every Sunday for a time of “faith sharing” before discussing any "business" matters. In the time of sharing, we first sing a song or listen to a scripture passage that helps to bring us into a quiet, reflective space, and then in turns we share our inner journey during the past week, with each person taking as long as they need to speak, and the others listening without commenting. At the end we bring all we have heard into a short moment of silent prayer with and for each other.
It amazes me how this helps us. Being able to share my journey with others who accept whatever I say and support me silently in it brings encouragement and healing. Hearing the experiences of others inspires me and makes me grateful to see God’s action in their lives. Of course, often someone is struggling with something, and their sharing is not without tears. But all of us go through that, and being able to share that vulnerability without having to appear as if we were always holding it all together is also a great gift.
Perhaps what it also helps us to do is to trust each other. Inevitably there are times when we are upset with one another in our day-to-day interactions. And of course, not everyone naturally gets along with everyone else. (As one of us is fond of saying: “We are not called to like each other, but to love each other!”) Knowing the other’s struggles and experiences at a deeper level can help us to choose the way of compassion.
What about you? What is your experience of companionship and celebration?
Food for Thought:
Do I have a safe space where I can share my vulnerability?
How can we create such spaces for each other?
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