Opening a Door: Nuns, Star Wars, and Unanswered Questions
I think I owe it to you all – who are considering investing time in reading this – to try to answer that.
As I was wondering how to do that, another question that I am often asked popped into mind. This one goes, “Why did you decide to become a nun?”
The two are related, really.
Yes, I am a Catholic sister in a society called the Faithful Companions of Jesus (FCJ). I don’t often like to use the word “nun” when people where I come from (Singapore) ask what I do. Technically, “nun” means someone who lives a cloistered life in a monastery, (which I do not); and “sister” means someone who also takes religious vows but actively ministers outside the convent (which I do). But to most people (and in common parlance) all Catholic religious women are “nuns”. So when I try to describe myself as a “sister” to the non-Catholics who make up most of my acquaintance, usually after a bit of confusion people end up saying anyway: “You mean you’re a nun?!”
Not that I’m embarrassed to be one, but for many people in my country (where Catholic religious are somewhat of an endangered species), the word “nun” often brings to mind “The Sound of Music”, or “Sister Act”. (If that’s the image you had in mind, you’re in good company!) But really, not all of us nowadays still wear habits, live in cloister, and sing like angels. Some are even tone deaf. And yes, we blog!
Since nuns are considered somewhat of an oddity in Singapore, when I told people I knew (back in 2014) that I was going to become one, their first reaction was inevitably shock.
“What a waste!”
“But weren’t you going to be a lawyer?”
“You’re young and pretty, you know… surely you can still find someone and settle down.”
After that initial reaction, though, I was surprised by how thoughtful people became and how interested they were in wanting to know why I was doing it. Not just friends and family, but people I only knew in passing or in connection with work suddenly wanted to talk, and they also started to share something of their own spiritual journeys. It was as if a door in each person that I had not always been aware of before had suddenly opened, and I was touched by what I saw through those doorways.
When I finally did join the sisters, I was sent to live in the Philippines and then in Indonesia. Sometimes I sent home updates on how I was doing, and responses to these too were surprising. Often something I wrote struck a chord in someone else’s experience in a way I could not have expected. People also took the opportunity to write to me about their own lives and their own search for meaning. Even though the circumstances of our lives were so different, I felt that we were walking together on the journey, and was very grateful for it.
And so the idea grew in me of writing a blog. I’m sure you would agree that beneath the bustle and busy-ness of life, there is in each of us – and in our societies – a deep spiritual hunger; a search for meaning that never quite lets us go. Even professing adherence to a formal religion doesn’t quite solve it just like that. One still has to live the questions.
There is a scene in Star Wars: "The Last Jedi" (yes, some nuns are Star Wars fans!) that I like very much. Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Master, concedes to teaching Rey, a feisty young woman from a nowhere planet, the Jedi ways. He asks her, "What do you know of the Force?" And she repeats the common wisdom that it is a power that the Jedi can use to read minds and move things, etc. But Luke debunks that as complete rubbish and shows her something different: he asks her to look inside herself and feel the presence that is in and between all things, which permeates and surrounds them and holds all things in balance. That is the Force.
This fictional exchange presents interesting and compelling questions for those of us who are seeking to practice faith, or to live spiritually-integrated lives. Is there a divine force in the cosmos (which some of us might call "God", for short) and what is that like? And what does that mean to my living in this rapidly-changing, diverse world that is in so much need of justice and peace, healing and compassion? A world that is only one planet in a rapidly expanding and evolving universe that has existed for over 13.7 billion years before my arrival?
I don’t claim to know the answers to those questions… even if they can be answered on this side of the veil! But this blog is an effort to open a door… to start a conversation about them… about what we see in the moments when we let ourselves be still… when the veil of our surface reality seems to lift for a moment and we catch a glimpse of something else: something unexpected but, then we realise, we have been yearning for all along.
And it is an effort to do that together. Because of my own roots I write from within the Catholic / Christian tradition, but I don’t think our universal search for meaning is bound to one particular religion or philosophy. It is my hope that we will be able to hear from different perspectives on this blog, with guest writers from time to time. You are also very welcome to post your own comments and reflections on each post.
So… if you are searching for something deeper in your life; if you have unanswered questions; if you would welcome a companion on the journey… then I invite you to join us here on this blog, as we share stories from one another’s lives. And together let us help each other to live a little more fully, awake and aware of the fields of surprising grace we walk through every day.
Food for thought:
What is my experience of searching for meaning in life?
What ideas do I hold about spiritual realities / God?
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