Surprising Grace

Here we are again at that strange, blessed in-between time, between the old year and the new. I always appreciate this interval between the busy-ness of Christmas and the welcoming of the new year – a kind of fallow space in which to gather the blessings of the year that has passed, and listen to the new hopes and dreams emerging in our hearts for the future. It is a time for gratitude, and also for renewing our commitment to what truly matters. As I looked back over this year, this passage from Rainer Maria Rilke’s “ Letter to a Young Poet ” spoke particularly to me: You ask whether your verses are good. You ask me. You have asked others before. You send them to magazines. You compare them with other poems. … I beg you to give up all that. You are looking outward, and that above all you should not do now. Nobody can counsel and help you, nobody. There is only one single way. Go into yourself. Search for the reason that bids you write; find out whether it is spreading out its ro...

(This post is continued from How to Discern a Vocation to Religious Life: Part I ) Of course, we aren’t always in touch with what our deep desires are in the first place. What often preoccupy us are the shrill and incessant voices of what I will call our “surface” desires (for chips and chocolates). One of the things that helped me in my process of discernment, then, was cultivating my awareness of what was going on inside me. (I’ve written about this before in a blog post on getting in touch with the daily “movements” of our hearts .) To continue the story then: once the two-month period I had given myself had passed, besides gathering information about various congregations of religious sisters, I also started a practice known in Catholic circles as “spiritual direction”, in which I talked to someone regularly about my spiritual life, and this person helped me to notice and become more aware of how I was experiencing God’s action in my daily life. In addition, I went to retrea...

A while ago a reader of this blog asked me, “How did you discern that religious life was for you?” As we have talked a little about discerning life choices here on this blog, I thought I might post my response here too and add to that conversation. Do feel free to leave comments or write back about your own thoughts or experiences. ***** Dear Reader, Your question reminds me of a rather interesting conversation my community had earlier this year at the dinner table when one of our sisters said that someone had asked her, “How do you know if you are called to religious life?” The four of us at the table started sharing our own stories of coming to that awareness. We were each from different countries, with age differences spanning 45 years, but surprisingly enough, while the details of each person’s journey varied widely, we noticed some common threads running through each one. The first was that each of us at some point felt a desire for religious life. While some peop...

A young adult I know was sharing with me the other day a little about her search for a fulfilling job, which hasn't materialized yet. As we parted she said with some emotion, "I will be 30 in a few years, and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life!" I don't know about you, but I recognised that sense of longing and frustration at seemingly not knowing one's place in the world, and my heart went out to her. For some reason many of us grow up expecting that our lives will be settled at a certain age... but in reality I wonder if that feeling of uncertainty about one's life direction ever conclusively goes away for anyone. In my own experience (being now on the other side of 30) it varies in intensity at different stages of life... the young adult years being a vulnerable time (and mid-life, I hear!). In any case, in this world where change is the only constant, perhaps it is also inevitable - and right - that we are continually invited to qu...

  In the years since law school, I have learnt a lot more about making life choices. The spirituality of Saint Ignatius of Loyola has been a special treasure trove in that regard. Ignatius lived in the 1400-1500’s and founded an order of male Catholic religious commonly called the “Jesuits” (from whence hails Pope Francis). He is particularly known for developing a set of “Spiritual Exercises” that develops one’s relationship with the divine and helps one to make life choices. (Nowadays, the full Exercises are usually made in a silent directed retreat that lasts for a month, but it can also be adapted in different ways.) Within these exercises, he sets out a list of very practical “rules for discernment”. I first became acquainted with these “rules” around the time when I first felt an inexplicable desire to become a nun. Faced with a desire that I couldn’t really comprehend and that wouldn’t go away, I was determined to make a proper discernment on whether this was really th...